What can you do if your Child is being Bullied?

When children return to school, most parents give a sigh of relief, and others shed a tear as their little ones grow another year older.  Whilst for most kids this is an exciting event, many thousands of children dread returning to school due to having to face their bullies.  What we know from the research, is that Bullying will probably continue for your child, if no action is taken to address it. Many parents are unsure of the best course of action to take, so we thought we would share with you the guidelines published by The Alannah and Madeline Foundation, which has made it their mission to keep children safe from violence – a mission we at The Psych Professionals whole-heartedly supports.

1. Listen

Try to listen to the whole story without interrupting. Be empathic, calm and validate what is being said. Ask what your child would like to happen, before you make suggestions.

2. Talk

Have a conversation about what happened. Try not to make the conversation intense or you might deter your child from talking to you. Remind your child it’s normal to feel hurt, it’s never OK to be bullied, and it’s NOT their fault.

3. Find out what is happening

Note what, when and where the bullying occurred, who was involved, how often and if anybody else witnessed it. Don’t offer to confront the child or children doing the bullying or their parents yourself. You can make things worse for your child.

4. Contact the school

In preparation for the discussion with your child’s school about the bullying:

• Write down what your child told you about specific incidents of bullying.
• Check your school’s bullying policy and the process for raising a bullying concern.
• Make an appointment with your child’s teacher/home group coordinator, or other point of contact as specified in your school’s bullying policy and procedure.
• Go into the school meeting with a positive expectation of working with the school as a partner in dealing with the complaint.
• Get the school to outline how they will ensure your child’s physical safety while they are at school.
• Be aware that the school will not disclose to you the substance of their discussions with others or what steps they have taken to monitor other children, as this would be a breach of privacy principles.

Make a follow-up appointment to check the situation is still being monitored, that positive action is continuing, and to report back your child’s sense of the situation having been addressed.

5. Give sensible advice

Encourage your child not to fight back in a physical sense, but coach them to use neutral or, if appropriate, joking language in response. Help them explore other possible responses.

• Tell them that the bully’s behaviour was intentional – because it is.
• Don’ tell them it will just go away – because it probably won’t.
• Explain it’s safer to avoid people, places or situations that could expose them to further bullying.
• If your child asks to stay home from school, explain that it won’t help – and may make things worse.
• If possible, help to make opportunities for them to join other groups of young people – e.g. clubs at school or other groups outside of school time.

Race, ethnicity, or cultural background — Around 23% of kids report this as a factor, with higher risks for Indigenous, migrant, or minority-background children (noted in multiple Australian surveys).

Gender, sexuality, or perceived gender non-conformity — 19% cite gender-related bullying; this includes homophobic/transphobic taunts, even among primary-school-aged kids.

Age or developmental differences — 22% mention age (e.g., being younger/older in class), disability, neurodiversity (autism, ADHD), or learning differences.

Online/digital factors — Even post-social media ban (effective Dec 2025), cyberbullying via messaging apps, group chats, or shared content continues. Kids face exclusion from digital groups, doxxing, or rumors spread online/offline hybrids. eSafety Commissioner data shows 13% of children told to hurt themselves online, and humiliating content shared.

Socioeconomic or family-related — Things like family income, housing, parental jobs, or family changes (e.g., divorce) that lead to perceived “difference.”

Personality or behavior — Shyness, being “too quiet/loud,” standing up for others (ironically), or excelling/failing in sports/academics.

Seek Help and Support

As many of us here at The Psych Professionals are parents ourselves, we know how hard it must be when you know your child is in pain.  Please feel free to see one of our team of Psychologists should you need further support in managing your own struggles or that of your child and or teenager – we are here to help. We offer remote telehealth consultation, or if you are in Agnes Waters, Logan or Redland City in Qld Australia, book an in-person appointment with our psychologists

For more information on bullying, please visit:  www.amf.org.au.

Let’s work together to put an end to bullying!