Bullying can have a significant impact on a child’s confidence, emotional wellbeing, and sense of safety at school. If your child is being bullied, listening, validating their feelings, documenting what is happening, and working with their school are important first steps. Here at The Psych Professionals we support children, teenagers, and families who may need extra guidance when navigating bullying, anxiety, stress, or emotional challenges.
What should I do if my child is being bullied?
When children return to school, most parents give a sigh of relief, and others shed a tear as their little ones grow another year older. Whilst for most kids this is an exciting event, many thousands of children dread returning to school due to having to face their bullies.
What we know from the research is that bullying will probably continue for your child if no action is taken to address it. Many parents are unsure of the best course of action to take, so we thought we would share with you the guidelines published by The Alannah and Madeline Foundation, which has made it their mission to keep children safe from violence, a mission we at The Psych Professionals whole-heartedly support.
How can I support my child if they tell me they are being bullied?
1. Listen
Try to listen to the whole story without interrupting. Be empathic, calm and validate what is being said. Ask what your child would like to happen before you make suggestions.
2. Talk
Have a conversation about what happened. Try not to make the conversation intense or you might deter your child from talking to you.
Remind your child it’s normal to feel hurt, it’s never OK to be bullied, and it’s NOT their fault.
3. How can I find out what is happening with my child’s bullying?
Note what, when and where the bullying occurred, who was involved, how often and if anybody else witnessed it.
Don’t offer to confront the child or children doing the bullying or their parents yourself. You can make things worse for your child.
4. How should I contact my child’s school about bullying?
In preparation for the discussion with your child’s school about the bullying:
- Write down what your child told you about specific incidents of bullying.
- Check your school’s bullying policy and the process for raising a bullying concern.
- Make an appointment with your child’s teacher/home group coordinator, or other point of contact as specified in your school’s bullying policy and procedure.
- Go into the school meeting with a positive expectation of working with the school as a partner in dealing with the complaint.
- Get the school to outline how they will ensure your child’s physical safety while they are at school.
- Be aware that the school will not disclose to you the substance of their discussions with others or what steps they have taken to monitor other children, as this would be a breach of privacy principles.
- Make a follow-up appointment to check the situation is still being monitored, that positive action is continuing, and to report back your child’s sense of the situation having been addressed.
5. What advice can I give my child if they are being bullied?
Encourage your child not to fight back in a physical sense, but coach them to use neutral or, if appropriate, joking language in response. Help them explore other possible responses.
- Tell them that the bully’s behaviour was intentional, because it is.
- Don’t tell them it will just go away, because it probably won’t.
- Explain it’s safer to avoid people, places or situations that could expose them to further bullying.
- If your child asks to stay home from school, explain that it won’t help, and may make things worse.
- If possible, help to make opportunities for them to join other groups of young people, e.g. clubs at school or other groups outside of school time.
Why are children bullied?
Children can experience bullying for many different reasons. Some common reasons children are bullied today include:
- Physical appearance and body image: Physical appearance and body image remain one of the most common reasons children experience bullying. This can include weight, height, clothing, acne, or any visible difference.
- Race, ethnicity, or cultural background: Some children experience bullying because of their race, ethnicity, or cultural background. This can disproportionately affect Indigenous children, migrant children, or children from minority backgrounds.
- Gender, sexuality, or perceived gender differences: Gender-related bullying can include homophobic or transphobic comments, as well as bullying directed towards children who do not conform to traditional gender expectations.
- Age, disability, neurodiversity, or learning differences: Children may experience bullying because of developmental differences, disability, neurodiversity such as autism or ADHD, or learning differences.
- Online and digital factors: Cyberbullying continues to impact children through messaging apps, group chats, social media, and shared content online. Children may experience exclusion from digital groups, rumours being spread online, or embarrassing content being shared without consent.
- Socioeconomic or family-related differences: Children can sometimes be targeted because of perceived differences relating to family income, housing, parental jobs, or family changes such as separation or divorce.
- Personality, behaviour, or interests: Children may also experience bullying because of their personality, including being shy, being outspoken, standing up for others, or differences in academic, sporting, or creative abilities.
How can a child psychologist help a child experiencing bullying?
Experiencing bullying can affect a child’s confidence, emotional wellbeing, relationships, and willingness to attend school. A psychologist can help children develop coping strategies, build resilience, manage difficult emotions, and feel supported while navigating these challenges.
Where can I find child psychologists supporting children affected by bullying in Queensland?
Here at The Psych Professionals we can provide psychological support for children, teenagers, and families across Queensland. Our psychologists work with children experiencing bullying, anxiety, social challenges, emotional difficulties, and life transitions. We offer child and adolescent psychology appointments from our clinics in:
- Springwood: Unit 1B 2/14 Murrajong Rd, Springwood QLD 4127 📍
- Thornlands: Unit 3/1-9 George Thorn Dr, Thornlands QLD 4164 📍
- Bracken Ridge: 9/57 Gawain Rd, Bracken Ridge QLD 4017 📍
We also provide telehealth appointments for families who prefer remote support.
As many of us here at The Psych Professionals are parents ourselves, we know how hard it must be when you know your child is in pain. Please feel free to see one of our team of Psychologists should you need further support in managing your own struggles or that of your child and/or teenager, we are here to help in any way.
Get in touch
If you would like to learn more or make a booking, you can reach out to our team at (07) 3823 2230, via email contact@psychprofessionals.com.au or book online via our The Psych Professionals enquiry/booking page.
For more information on bullying, please visit: www.amf.org.au.
Frequently Asked Questions About Child Bullying
What are the signs my child is being bullied?
Signs of bullying can include changes in mood, avoiding school, difficulty sleeping, changes in friendships, increased anxiety, withdrawing from activities, or becoming unusually quiet or upset.
Should I contact my child’s school if they are being bullied?
Yes. Working collaboratively with your child’s school can help create a plan to address bullying and support your child’s safety and wellbeing.
Can a psychologist help my child after bullying?
Yes. A psychologist can support children with managing emotions, rebuilding confidence, developing coping strategies, and processing their experiences.
Where can I find a child psychologist near me in Queensland?
Here at The Psych Professionals we provide child psychology services from our clinics in Springwood, Thornlands, and Bracken Ridge, as well as telehealth appointments for families across Queensland.
Is bullying only something that happens at school?
No. Bullying can happen at school, online, through social groups, or in other environments where children interact. Cyberbullying can also continue outside school hours through digital platforms and messaging apps.